TGIF for Patently Bad Dating Humor
Did you ever date a man who openly flirted with other women? 4 pointsHave you ever been out with a man who got himself arrested during your date? 6 pointsDid you ever date a man who claimed that he was abducted by aliens? 6 pointsDid you ever have a boyfriend who forgot your birthday? 2 pointsDid you ever find another woman's phone number in your boyfriend's pocket or wallet? 5 pointsDid you ever date someone who was unknowingly a male escort who wanted to be paid for your date? 4 pointsHave you ever found an intimate piece of clothing in your boyfriend's car or house that didn't belong to you? 5 points
Have you ever sent any of the following email messages? 10 points for each yes
"I am afraid I will need to cancel our meeting tomorrow. I went out with
someone earlier this week and although, not ready to go off of match, I would
like to give things a chance with that person. It would be unfair to you for me
to see you at this time."
"Bill, I am so sorry. I figured you would check your email. From your note, it sounds like you didn't and that you came out to Sandy Springs. It was early when I was leaving and I didn't want to call at 7:45am on a Saturday.From your reply to my 10:30 meeting time request, I was surprised that extending 30 minutes would cause a problem; I assumed you must be very busy with a very packed Saturday schedule so maybe it wasn't a good time for you anyway. Exercise is important to me, both physically and mentally, and I rarely get to the gym during the week.Anyway, I just wanted to say that I don't think you can classify it as being stood up and I'm sorry for the inconvenience."
"I am SO sorry!! My phone not only didn't ring, but didn't show me I had a message yesterday...I just listened to yours this morning. I was bummed out, too, because I assumed you had simply changed your mind about getting together. I can't apologize enough. Please know that I would never intentionally stand someone up. I feel terrible, and will certainly understand if you'd rather not move forward at this point. But if you're still up for it, please try me again at 404-226-XXXX. I promise to turn my phone up and keep checking it."
"I am just not in the habit of calling up or meeting up with some guy I haven't even gotten to know a little beyond a profile on the internet. In fact, I am not in the habit of dating at all. It sounds like you and I have very different expectations on this match thing. Furthermore, I think honestly and decency would go hand in hand with
one's level of spiritual maturity."
"you are creepy...and your photos are creepy"
"No Mexican stand-off please. ...I normally don't, can't, won't make that first call just because. I'm sounding like a brat, huh?"
"...Sure, Bill...My good looking friends who wouldn't mind if you are broke/cheap/expecting the woman to do all the moves? I felt I had to reassure
you of your manliness, while at the same time accepting that you had some weird
money issues, and initiate the only physical contact that we had. I know that
you are in early dating, but I have been there/done that -- have learned from my
"I don't generally respond to interest from men that I don't feel a connection from their profile, but you sound like a well-intentioned person that spends too much time in your office. (Hmm... you sound like a whiner -- not what you were trying to accomplish.) I have to give you some advice. You can't have "a sense of humor to offer" and be this formal. You were married once... don't settle for nice, honest, open-minded. You don't need that-- neither do your kids. Now go find a good bottle of wine and start over."
"Clever, Fun Literate, Why do I suspect you can do better to woo a woman's attention than a wink? Hmmmm.... fyi: As a 'friend', you may want to consider removing some of those remarks....as some actually can taint your image from a female perspective..."I just got home now. I'm very sorry about today. When you didn't phone last night, I thought you couldn't make it and I went to the gym/pool instead (didn't have cell with me).
"The horns are even bigger in person... ;) -- Toxalicious"